August Changes

The month of August should be interesting and I'm going to be pushing myself to higher and higher levels of fitness and happiness.
Tomorrow starts a step challenge with a group of ladies I met online. We all put in 5 dollars and whoever has the most steps by the end of the month will win all of the money (right now its about 25 dollars... but hey its motivation!). I also start a weight loss challenge with a group on mfp. We all paid 10 dollars (big money people) and whoever loses the most amount of weight will win all of the money (140 dollars). My fiance and I are both in this challenge and I'm hoping one of us will win.. of course I hope its me... but I also hope he wins too for him. My third challenge of the month is that I've joined Row the World on mfp again. Last time I was full swing in a bulimia cycle and was burning off every calorie I put in my mouth and more. I'm not currently and I'm hoping that although my burns are not as high that I will still be valued by my team.

I really want to prove myself and prove to myself that I CAN do it. Lately, it's been difficult to feel like it's even possible. I'm trying to keep positive.

Well, stress went up a bit. My wedding date moved from Sept. 21st 2013 to June 15th 2013. It's only a few months change but that is a few less months to plan and prepare and of course... to lose weight. I refuse. Flat out REFUSE to be an OBESE and JIGGLING BRIDE. no way in hell is that going to happen.
So here is the plan- I will be down over 100 pounds by the wedding. If I don't keep on track with my goals I will be punished. The end of that.

Bright side!

Today I found out that my work has been chosen for publication and will be published next month. I am beyond excited as this is the first time since college that I've been published and it makes me feel proud. Proud is something I don't get to be too often and it's something I cherish. I want to make it a big deal but then I don't want to make it look pathetic. All I can say is that I'm excited about it, proud of myself and thankful to have found someone who appreciates something that came from my heart.

Also, I will be getting married in my grandmothers church. It was important to me to start my married life there because growing up I always imagined she would be there with me. She passed several years ago and although I know being married in her church won't change anything it's sort of my way of having her close to me. It's going to be about 750 dollars to have the wedding ceremony there. 170 for the reception hall, 300 for the cake, 400 for food, 400 for my dress, 200 for tux, about 200 for decorations, 100 for invitations, 30 for stamps, the fee for our license, 150 for bridal accessories (guest book, card holders, flower girl basket, ring pillow, etc). And I'm praying we can afford it some how.

Mikes sister is also getting married- but after us, and everyone is so obsessed with her wedding that no one is taking notice or helping with ours. I have to say I'm a little jealous. They are all paying for her wedding and helping her plan while we are on our own both financially and planning wise. My mother and father are planning to help as much as they can but with my father being laid off for nearly 3 years now it's not looking like they will be able to help much and I completely understand that. I'm just stressed.

Today we had our cake tasting which involved me eating german chocolate cake, white cake with strawberry filling and lemon cake with lemon filling. OINK but it fit in my calories for the day... because I made it and I walked for over an hour.

Shooting for 10,000 or more steps daily. EVERY DAY.